my selfishness leads to fear

I was reading in Hebrews 11, and going through it, it's a great testimony to fathers of the faith that have come before us. Many of these individuals trusted and lived by faith. They did not necessarily see or receive their reward, or get to interact with Jesus, but they trusted in Him as the Hope to come. These men and women knew they were not in a country of their own,

"Instead, they were longing for a better country--a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them." (Hebrews 11:16)

The trust in the promise was enough for them to not fear losing their earthly life. That is encouragement to me!

To be able to have faith and trust like these men and women who provided great examples..."Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him." (Isaiah 64:4)

"who acts on behalf of those who wait for him..."

I often want purpose and meaning in my work and what I set out in life to do. To worry about that not happening is fear.

But that's just it. I'm being selfish with this. I want my purpose and meaning accomplished. Rather than God's kingdom come, and His glory to be revealed to all nations. For that to happen, I need to wait on Him better, and know that my purpose is found in trusting in the Lord's ways, His timing, and not my own.

marriage - a step of faith

So I'm gonna get married!!

Let me first say, AWESOME!

Let me also say, in the context of life and life decisions, it's a commitment that both Aly and I would say involves a big step of faith. Neither one of us knows what the future holds or what it will look like. Big decisions like this have come before...choosing where to attend college, choosing to move to Nashville, choosing to move overseas...

At each front door of decisions in the past, we had no idea what was really inside. However, looking back on the things grace has done, we can see that God was clearly in it all the way, even when we lacked trust, thought we knew the way better, or tried to let our comfort rest in the things and security this world offers.

This decision to get married is a testimony to the faithfulness and goodness of God. We want nothing more than for His glory to be shared, to be revealed more...He is the name above all names, He deserves every bit and ALL of our worship. Jesus loved us first, and we can only love or be in love because of Christ.

It will be an adventure led by God. With that in mind, and trusting fully in His providence and sovereignty, we can worry less about our comfort here on earth and enjoy the ride to come. I'm not going to try and be Mr. "Big I know it all and have this marriage thing figured out." Quite the contrary. I have much to learn but I eagerly want to see the fun and joy, the struggles and pain, the future holds as we submit our lives to living out the Gospel for the purpose of His Kingdom come!!!