I think a prevalent goal that exists in our society is to marry. Well DUH you might say. Yes, I agree, the human race wouldn't be able to continue if marriage wasn't a really big deal. I don't necessarily believe that God has placed a specific desire in everyone's heart for a wonderful other of the opposite sex. I do think that God has placed a desire for community in everyone's heart, and that very well could look like a woman and a man married together (the most intimate form of community). Even looking outside of the Christian community, I think this would pan out in the statistics: people divorce quite a bit, marriage rates are down, but people still live with each other and don't tie the knot (be it for saving money or having sex). Marriage doesn't quite have the premium it used to, but being together surely has not gone away.
I've read about some communities of single men and women who live together under the banner of Christ, who live in community, but choose to remain single to be devoted to the Lord first and foremost. I think this offers an interesting example to think about.
Marriage is not a bad thing at all, please don't get me wrong. My married friends tell me it's an awesome thing. And I believe them. But, I find that there are a lot of Christian brothers and sisters who pursue marriage as a primary goal to accomplish in life. Culture surely has had an influence on this. Little girls start thinking about their wedding day when they are still in diapers. I think guys start thinking about marriage later and a bit more gradually, maybe around their early 20s, but it still can grow into a passionate desire to be married. Think about various aspects of our culture, a lot of structures and institutions are set up that lead towards encouraging marriage (once again, these aren't necessarily bad in themselves). I think even that awful cotillion stuff my mom made me attend in middle school was a part of this whole call to marriage from society. The result from all this is that I observe many times that Christian brothers and sisters often have a decent amount of anxiety related to just that, marriage. Finding a mate. "I'll never find Mr. Right" or "I'll just be one of those lonely old men." I don't see as heightened anxieties about serving the Lord or orienting a vocation towards serving the Lord. Culture has cultivated a huge premium on getting married, and it's like if somebody doesn't, they're deemed a big fat loser.
But that's culture's opinion. Not God's. Paul talks about marriage in 1 Corinthians 7. I mention this insightful passage of Scripture to encourage you to read it for yourself and see what the Holy Spirit reveals to you regarding marriage. Some things I observe about it: Paul never says or explicitly commands, "don't marry". Or "marry." He does not lay out any specific absolutes. He talks about the benefits of being single so that one would be free to serve the Lord without disagreements or distractions that may arise in a marriage. Biblical scholars note that Paul was single during his apostleship period of Jesus (most likely when he wrote 1 Corinthians), but was very likely married during the time he served as a zealous Jewish persecutor of Christians. Paul knew both sides, he speaks from experience, which gives him more credibility.
In our culture, I wish that Christians would desire to seek and serve Jesus first and foremost, and not necessarily count on marriage as a given in their life. That they would pursue the Lord above all, and that if an opportunity for marriage does arise as a way to strengthen their service to the Lord, that they would get married! DUH! There are many situations that two together serving the Lord is a stronger ministry TOGETHER AS ONE than two single individuals serving the Lord, and so they should get married (that being that they love each other and seek each other's best interests before their own)! Marriage isn't for everyone, and shouldn't be pursuit #1, as our culture so often seems to claim and encourage.
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