anxiety, relationships

So, I've been doing some thinking, and I have come to this conclusion/realization.

Anxiety seems to be arise out of selfishness. The more selfish one is, in general or in a particular relationship, the more anxiety is felt.

I was thinking of this in context of a good friend who has just entered into a dating relationship. He is an outstanding guy, and a solid brother, but he has expressed that he feels anxious in many ways with this relationship. I think it's selfishness. I don't think this unnamed friend is selfish in general, he does not act as such, but I think the source of his anxiety can be traced to his own selfishness with this relationship. In the sense that an ideal or a mental picture of what that relationship should look like or how it would proceed is held in my friend's mind.

I would say my friend with this relationship is a minor example that was supporting evidence for this thought of how selfishness is related to anxiety. The real incriminating evidence and major example for this came when I reflected upon myself, and how stupidly selfish I am in certain relationships in my life, and low and behold, those areas of my life are where I experience the most anxiety. I refer to relationship both as in relationships to other people as well as relationship as in my relationship to money, trust, marriage, and other non-human aspects of life.

Instead of relying on Christ to be the center, I rely on my self, convinced of my own ways and my own thoughts to figure things out. I set out this idea in my mind about how something should be, rather than trusting Christ's way over my way.

I think Paul alludes to this in Philippians: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV).

And Jesus gives a pretty clear solution to this problem of selfishness and the resulting anxiety that can simply wear someone out: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)

Now, I want to be clear, I don't think we're just to sit down in a chair and let God run our lives. Completely the opposite. We're to walk according to the graces He has showered down upon us, but do so with a firm trust and reliance on Christ's precepts and principles rather than my own.