a good heart check

So last week, I started to see lots of fliers up for a documentary showing put on by the Gay and Lesbian group here at Vanderbilt. The documentary was "For the Bible Tells Me So" and looks at what the Bible says about homosexuality. The film showcases intense evangelists screaming at the top of their lungs and calling gay people "an abomination" and that they passionately deserve the wrath of hell for their homosexual sins. In the end, the documentary takes the view that the Bible permits homosexuality.

I believe firmly, and I think the evidence is overwhelming, that Scripture clearly states that homosexuality is a sin and is not part of what God would deem holy or righteous for His people.

Based on this belief, and the overwhelming sense that our culture continues to grow in the acceptance of homosexuality, I was gearing up for attending the showing, thinking of all sorts of intelligent arguments in my head that I could use to showcase that the Bible does not teach acceptance of homosexuality for the discussion time that would follow. I was firm in my belief that I would do this in a manner starkly different than the preachers shown on the film and the traditional behavior of the church -- loudly and angrily condemning homosexuality. I kept telling myself, and really believed, that I would really seek to be more like Jesus in trying to deliver all these good arguments that I had thought up in my head. In a gentle manner, not condemning.

Well, Thursday came around, and right before the showing was to begin, I decided not to go. I really felt convicted that I wasn't in the right Spirit. A heart check examination clearly revealed to me that it wasn't in a state to humbly love and serve. I was in a frame of mind to "intelligently argue"...which in the end is just like the angry yelling preachers condemning homosexuality.

I was motivated for God's righteousness for the wrong reasons. I wanted to use what I thought were good rhetorical skills and angles of argument to defeat this pervasive cultural belief.

Rather than being like Jesus, seeking to be humble, wanting to go with a Spirit of self-sacrificial love, I was proud and arrogant. Which is just like the rest of the world, and starkly different from Jesus and what He offered (and the way He offered it).

The Apostle James really gets at this in James 4:1-12. I was certainly "double-minded" and where he writes "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble," this was certainly true in this case.

While I still firmly believe that homosexuality is not part of how God wants His people to live, and while I passionately desire the righteousness of God to break down the chains of bondage in our present day society, it's not going to happen with proud, double-minded hearts that seek their own way and forget Christ's perfect example of love.