"Why do you call Me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like:
he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great." (Luke 6:46-49 NASB)
Well, I'm done. With year #1. I just finished half of the Master's degree I'm working to obtain. There is no wild exultation, leaping for joy, or party on the beach till the break of dawn or getting jiggy with it that I'll be doing to celebrate this fact.
I do my best to remind myself that this degree is really a house built on shifting sand. Yet, many of my actions and the time I spend does not reflect this very well. A degree, a credential to your name, is very much a world thing. I have not found anywhere in Scripture where it says, to be broken and receive endless, infinite, beautiful grace, you have to be a PhD in Brokeness, or have an M.Ed in Unworthiness.
I'm finishing up re-reading CS Lewis' The Four Loves. It has been a good reminder to question myself: well, what kinds of loves are you involved with and practicing? (it's related to this degree thing)
People all around me are broken. I'm broken. That's the state of our condition. When we practice Friendship love and Charity love, rather than practicing idol love of money or stature or recognition or __________(fill it in), we encourage each other, share in our brokeness, and help each other get rid of some of it.
And it works. These past few weeks, I've witnessed more and more of Community love and Friendship love. And let me tell you, those are the kinds of things that DO get me jazzed and make me want to dance around and party till the break of dawn.
That has been my big realization at the end of this semester. I'm spending far too much time loving myself and building this degree structure thing that will easily be blown away rather than loving my friends, strangers, and the community in which I am a part. There's something about Friendship and Charity love that I'm more confident about. Maybe its because Jesus modeled those loves often and very well.
yes, I agree that I'm in the world and I should properly use my talents, intelligence, and resource to further the Lord's Kingdom. I don't dispute that at all. But there's a fine slippery line between understanding that and the way in which one's actions take shape. I think I've been slipping too much.
I want to be sold out to AND for the Gospel. COMPLETELY. and that it would be my concern for all of my days.
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