anxiety, relationships

So, I've been doing some thinking, and I have come to this conclusion/realization.

Anxiety seems to be arise out of selfishness. The more selfish one is, in general or in a particular relationship, the more anxiety is felt.

I was thinking of this in context of a good friend who has just entered into a dating relationship. He is an outstanding guy, and a solid brother, but he has expressed that he feels anxious in many ways with this relationship. I think it's selfishness. I don't think this unnamed friend is selfish in general, he does not act as such, but I think the source of his anxiety can be traced to his own selfishness with this relationship. In the sense that an ideal or a mental picture of what that relationship should look like or how it would proceed is held in my friend's mind.

I would say my friend with this relationship is a minor example that was supporting evidence for this thought of how selfishness is related to anxiety. The real incriminating evidence and major example for this came when I reflected upon myself, and how stupidly selfish I am in certain relationships in my life, and low and behold, those areas of my life are where I experience the most anxiety. I refer to relationship both as in relationships to other people as well as relationship as in my relationship to money, trust, marriage, and other non-human aspects of life.

Instead of relying on Christ to be the center, I rely on my self, convinced of my own ways and my own thoughts to figure things out. I set out this idea in my mind about how something should be, rather than trusting Christ's way over my way.

I think Paul alludes to this in Philippians: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV).

And Jesus gives a pretty clear solution to this problem of selfishness and the resulting anxiety that can simply wear someone out: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)

Now, I want to be clear, I don't think we're just to sit down in a chair and let God run our lives. Completely the opposite. We're to walk according to the graces He has showered down upon us, but do so with a firm trust and reliance on Christ's precepts and principles rather than my own.

take a deep breath, read Matthew 6, it's going to be OK!!

This past week was not somewhat, but very crazy on Wall Street and financially speaking for the USA. People's investments, home mortgages, and stock accounts were going all over the place. I overheard a guy talking about his stock account at Target last night, and his voice revealed an intense amount of concern and worry.

Hurricane Ike is gone, but yesterday and today has brought gas shortages, a.k.a. no more gas being sold all around Nashville. I'm not sure how many other parts of the country were affected by refinery outages. I went to a gas station today, and ended up being the last person to get some gas after waiting in line. The scene was crazy. Employees of the gas station running around frantically, trying to direct the line of cars, shouting out anxiously. The person filling up next to me was speaking about all that's going on in a noticeably concerned tone. Newspaper articles with the titles "panic" this, panic "that" related to no gas.

I don't want to sound insincere or critical of the anxiety and panic, and I know that many people's livelihoods, at least somewhat, are found in their stock portfolios and being able to buy gas and transport themselves to work where they get their paycheck, the major livelihood. I also recognize that I've been afforded incredible, beyond logical comforts in life that I don't deserve.

But please, take a deep breath people!! I lived in Argentina where these "worries" were a much more frequent and noticeable part of life...gas shortages, money shortages, government instability, and Argentines have learned to take them in stride. Things come and they go. I want Argentina to get better, very much so, but my point in writing about Argentina is that while they may not have things as "figured out" as America in terms of political and economic issues, they still live and have full lives. Not having gas or having a stock portfolio that is never going to go down or fluctuate wildly will not be the end of the world.

Once again, I know these things are important and have much meaning for a lot of people. At the gas station today, I was very close to weeping. I was deeply saddened by the anxiety and panic I saw in people's actions and words.

Oh that people of this nation and Nashville would know the fullness of you JESUS! and be able to cast away their anxieties and concerns!! "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:25-34 NIV)

anXiety

I have to confess. I am at my wit's end with anxiety. Being driven by fear is horrible. Royally. As a motivator to some sort of action, anxiety I would say would be one of the least desirable things to drive oneself or others. I don't feel like I'm bringing this anxiety on myself. Well, maybe I am not bringing it purposefully, but I sure am not on the stout lookout and providing a solid defense for it.

To explain, I'm living with my parents again for the summer. A lot of their motivations for their actions and habits, in my opinion, are due to fears and anxieties that exist in their lives. I find myself falling into their course of living, not because I want to necessarily adopt their principles or allow anxieties to be a base factor for actions, but mostly because I a) lack the courage to confront them about their anxieties or b) I'm trying to honor them and submit to them in a non-confrontational, non-aggressive manner. They would never admit the extent to which I think fear and anxiety is a part of their lives. Don't get me wrong, a lot of them are perfectly valid anxieties to have in life. Anxieties are going to exist. It'd be near impossible to stamp those out or spend the kind of energy required to do so. I even think a some anxieties in life, at low levels, is a healthy and good thing. But just because you have something in your life, doesn't mean you should let it grow or develop into a viscous beast.

B.O. is like that. We all have it. It's naturally a part of our existence. A little bit is fine. No harm done. Just a reminder it's time for a shower. Left unchecked, it can grow to be something that you, and the people around you, really don't like.

That may be a stupid example, but a better one is that Jesus didn't plug into anxieties. He had every reason to do so. There were plenty available to Him. People wanted to kill Him, stone Him, kill His friends. He could worry about people turning to Him for their salvation. He was dealing with anxieties way beyond our modern day ones "Do we have enough money in the bank?" "Will I be able to afford college?" "Will I find someone to pursue Christ with in a marriage?" "Will the people around me accept me into community?"

Jesus handled all His beautifully. His example is the one to strive for. I would encourage you to read about Jesus and the times He faced potential anxieties. How did He handle them? How'd He react. What'd He do? (hint: prayer)

I still struggle with anxieties and being surrounded by more of them doesn't help. I can't be Jesus when it comes to how I handle anxieties, but I can seek to be like Him. Prayer, which I lack discipline for, is the best thing I think can help.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)