celebrating what is right

"Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.
If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.

This I command you, that you love one another." (John 15:9-17 NASB)

Christ's love is the perfect love to which our hearts aspire. The perfect love in which our hearts, souls, and minds find perfect peace. Amidst the backdrop of this passage, I think I'm getting a deeper picture of Christ's love, and the joys as well as the limitations of a dating relationship.

Christ emphasizes that we humans love only because it's made possible through and by His love. "I have also loved you..." "just as I have loved you..." "You did not choose Me but I chose you..."

This passage to me makes it clear that we can only abide in any sort of love on this earth AFTER and dependent upon the love relationship with Christ.

Don't get me wrong. I personally have been really fortunate to progress into a deeper season of becoming greater friends with a really great girl. The jury is still out on if it's love or not, I can't say...but a lot of things seem to be clicking as right and honorable. It's an experience of thoughts, emotions, and events that is quite fun, exciting, and unique. Christ speaks, in this very passage, about how greater love is closely related to the idea of deep friendship. "No longer do I call you slaves...but I have called you friends..."

The earthly dating relationship never will, and never should surpass the primary love relationship with Christ. I don't think marriage should either. That sounds almost defeatist at first, definitely counter-cultural to not pour out everything into this other person, this great friend, and to put your primary hope in this other human.

That should never be the case and if I project that as a boyfriend or future husband, I am failing as a friend and a brother. Not to mention, I am selling short the love of Christ and cheapening it.

It needs to be remembered that both humans involved in that relationship have their own individual sin that they bring to the table. That fact will never allow the intimacy and a purity of love that can be experienced with Jesus, the holy and perfect One. Don't get me wrong, husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends can have pretty awesome relationships that are fulfilling, honoring, and glorifying to the Lord. At their best, they can approach something less than the love of Christ. That's not a bad thing though, falling somewhat short of perfection can still be pretty darn good.